This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

Now I Get It! Yahoo is Just Plain Smarter Than I Am

Illustration for article titled Now I Get It! Yahoo is Just Plain Smarter Than I Am

I love being the subject of ridicule. "You still use Yahoo Mail?" (said with a snicker and an eye roll). "My grandma called me to fix her Yahoo Mail!" (another snicker). I get it. I'm old. I don't like change. Technology evolves. Advertising revenue drives product design. And Yahoo knows better than I do how email works.


Sometimes I need to multi-task when I create an email - you know, open one email, cut text out of it and paste it into another, and leave both of them open. Apparently that's not an efficient way to work. Yahoo tells me that they "group messages together so you have fewer
reasons to switch between messages". Alrighty then! Guess I don't need to do that anymore.

Save a draft? To me, it makes sense to click the "Save" button, or the little floppy disk picture (I'm so old I remember what floppy disks are!). Yahoo says to just click the "X". X marks the spot! So what if every other software program I've ever seen uses X for cancel. So what if I'm afraid to click an X? Get with the program, Mom!


I keep my 10,000 emails in separate folders too. So if I ever want to find an old email (like the one I wrote in 2002 (don't laugh) telling Yahoo how much I love Yahoo Mail) I can just search for it. I search for "Yahoo", click on Sender and it sorts my list and I find my email. Well, apparently I don't appreciate the new Yahoo paradigm where I'm supposed to "click the magnifying glass icon in the message list" to find the sender. My kids tell me that's how it works on the iPhone so, whoops! My bad.

Get this! This new-fangled font that Yahoo uses is super-streamlined and
looks super modern. And on my super-cute puppy background (that I can't
figure out how to remove, must be hidden under an "X" somewhere) it all
blends together into one super-pleasing screen! Too bad my super-old
eyesight can't exactly make out what it says. Maybe I'll get lasik
surgery (I should anyway, so I don't look so OLD!).


And in the old days, some mundane tasks, like italicizing text and printing, seemed pretty important. Yahoo put them right on top of my message! Wellll, not anymore! Mundane is out. Not cool. Stop being an old fogey! Just click on all of the little "X"s and "+"s until you find the secret hidden place where these obsolete functions can be found. Done! Shoot that bad boy right out of here! Which leads to:

Judy, I am so sorry you saw that email that said you were an
"overly controlling, out of your mind b*tch". In the old days I would
have deleted your address from the email I responded to. I forgot that
"conversations" are the new way of communicating. We share everything
now! Still BFF! Right?

Illustration for article titled Now I Get It! Yahoo is Just Plain Smarter Than I Am

Cartoons by the inimitable Bob Cochran at

You can sign our petition at….

And see our "Open Letter to Marissa Mayer" at

Share This Story

Get our newsletter